1. You get to the airport before the ticket counter staff|
2. Everybody is checking in suitcases the size of a refrigerator
3. You can't get on board because somebody in front of you is trying to get a truck's chassis into the overhead compartment
4. At least one passenger is accompanied by an armed Federal Agent
5. You can only get the Punch to read and the centrespread features at least one of your flight attendants
6. There is a sign that reads "DO NOT ASK FOR ANY MORE PILLOWS"
7. Everybody is trying to figure out what the "Port of Embarkment" means
8. Somebody hands a flight attendant a paper bag and asks her to "heat up dis pelau fi mi nuh baby"
9. The person across the aisle brought their own breakfast of shark and bake
10. Everybody breaks out into applause when the plane lands
11. Everybody gets out of their seats before the plane stops moving
12. The air hostess more vex than you if you tell them that you are cold and need a blanket