"Simple vs. Real vs. Trini"

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. A TRINI FRIEND CAUSE THE DARN TEARS IN DE FIRST PLACE
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book. A TRINI FRIEND KNOW WHERE DEY LIVIN, WHAT DEY COOKIN ON WHAT DAY, AND WILL SHOW UP AT THEIR DOORSTEPS
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean. AH TRINI FRIEND COME LATE, BRING A BUNCH UH PEOPLE AND DEN TALK ABOUT YUH WHEN ALL DE FOOD AND BOOZE DONE
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call. AH TRINI FRIEND SCREENIN DE CALL AN DOH ANSWER WHEN IS YOU
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems. AH TRINI FRIEND WILL LISTEN TO YUH PROBLEMS AN CRY WID YOU, EVEN OFFER TO HELP YUH, DEN TELL EVERYBODY, AND ADD A LITTLE JUICE TO IT
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. A TRINI FRIEND WOULD BLACK MAIL YOU AND STILL TELL EVERYBODY
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. OH GOSH.....A TRINI FRIEND OPEN YUH FRIDGE, CLEAN IT OUT, COMPLAIN YUH AIN'T HAVE ENOUGH, DEN TELL DE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD DEY MOUTH WAS DRY
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. AH TRINI FRIEND TELL EVERYBODY DEY DONE WID YOU AND TELL THEM DOH TALK TO YOU AND SHOW UP IN YUH HOUSE WID BIG HUG AN TING
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you! AH TRINI FRIEND WILL SAY HE DOING SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT AND GO CALL BACK, NEXT TING YUH HEAR HE REALLY WAS GOIN TO DE ANCHORAGE FETE
A simple friend will read and throw this letter away. A real friend will keep sending it until he's sure it's been received. AH TRINI FRIEND GO SAY.....WHAT CRAP IS DIS ? SHE IDLE OR WHAT? AH LIE???

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